Par-Is This Really Happening?

Today I saw a woman walking her cat down Saint Antoine. No sorry, 'walking' doesn't do this justice. She was carrying a vacant lead in one hand and the said cat was perched on her shoulder. Perched up on her right shoulder watching the world go by as they strolled along. Nobody batted an eyelid.

But this is not the only surreal experience of my week. After an evening of American drinking games at the American dorms on Saturday, to which I add that when playing Kings (Ring of Fire to you and me) the 9 = rhyme round does not work out so well with the accent clash, we decided to get the Metro to Oberkampf. And boy, did we chose the right time. We jumped into a lively Metro carriage filled with free styling, beat-boxing, improvising and raving all coming from a small group of French guys. Well I assumed them to be French, as despite how annoyingly sleazy and philosophical these guys are, they freakin' ooze cool. It was a completely surreal surprise and filled with vino we naturally joined in.

Re-calling this the next day, I got to thinking about Metro etiquette in Paris and how the spontaneity of the previous night appeared to have gone against every rule I had learnt. So here we go, the unwritten rules of the metro I have established so far. Take note or prepare to become the object of French glares and mutters if you ever visit Paris:

1. Wait for those getting off to actually make contact with the platform before pushing to get on. Common sense you would think, but there's always one.
2. If you're sitting on the fold up/down seats in the standing area, stand up to allow more room when the carriage gets busy. Glare at those who don't.
3. Don't sit opposite me if you too have unusually long femurs, it won't be a comfortable journey.
4. Give a sympathetic look to the unfortunate soul the crazy, drunk, tramp decides to sit next to.
5. Turn up your iPod and intently stare out the window, even if in a dark, underground tunnel, which 90% of the time will be the case, when a beggar comes round. Don't give into the small child clinging onto them or the tiny puppy they're carrying.
6. Talk to nobody.
7. Be aware of the doors that do not open automatically.
8. Perfect the metro free stand. Perfect it whilst reading a novel and nobody will ever know you're not French...unless you're not wearing a scarf.
9. Know the whereabouts of the exit you will be taking when you get off before you get on the Metro. The closer you get off to it, the more points you get.
10. If the exit has a Poussez door instead of an automatic one, hold it for the person behind you. Always.  
11. When leaving the station, the right side of the escalator is for standers and the left side is for climbers. The stairs are for keenos, take them and feel the frowns of those you overtake from the escalator.
12. If you're going to sneak through the turnstile with someone, ASK. Don't just go in there invading their personal space.
13. Know your lines. Know the 1 takes no mercy when breaking so if you're brave enough to stand up before the Metro has stopped, hold on. Know the 14 is automatic and has no driver therefore sitting in the front carriage is COOL. And finally, know that if you're feeling the beat on line 5 on a Saturday night, don't be afraid to let it out..

It now being the 16th February, I guess Valentine's Day deserves a brief mention in this entry, me being in Paris and all, even though I was surprisingly disappointed by the day. There were no roses, chocolates and teddy bears, I did not see anybody eating a heart-shaped macaroon and not one person spontaneously fell down onto one knee and produced a sparkling diamond in the middle of the street. Pahh.

So, I thought I'd leave you, I did say 'brief', with some food for thought and include a photo of my own very romantic and exclusive Valentine's meal...

... €3 in a University restaurant and followed by chocolate; wine and swooning over Heath in 10 Things I Hate About You. Naturally.